You are not the only parent whose teenage kids are hiding their mobile passwords from you or keeping their personal life a secret. It often seems tough to talk to your young ones, doesn’t it? You definitely want to talk to your teenage daughter about the choice of clothes she makes or maybe it is the irresponsible behaviour of your son that bothers you. You feel uneasy to talk to your teenagers about their friends or personal life. In any condition, you hesitate to communicate.
WHY IS THAT ??
Are you thinking what impact would it leave on their minds if you used harsh tones or maybe your behaviour can leave them judgmental about you? Yes, you are thinking right. Teenagers, who are already going through vigorous physical and mental transitions in their body, may find it uneasy to talk to their parents. They prefer exploring the world and solving their own issues single handedly. It is better also to some extent because this can make them learn significant lessons of life.
Why is building trust important?
You already have gone through the good and bad lessons of life and as a protective and caring parent, you only want to pave a happier and secure path for your children’s life. You don’t want them to make the same mistakes that you did once. You don’t want them to go through the same pain, instead, you want them to concentrate on building their future at the right time and not do anything regretful. It is good to care about it but the question is, DID YOU LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS WHEN YOU WERE A TEENAGER?? This definitely doesn’t mean that you did the right thing but if you put your feet in their shoes, you would calm down a little.
Overprotection Can Lead To Secrecy…….Remember That
Aren’t you making these mistakes?
How To Build Trust?
If you would try to press the button too hard, they definitely would start hiding things from you. So here are a few tips that you may add to your behaviour and see the change.
Start sharing your feelings with them. She is your young age. Talk to them like a friend rather than a parent. Ask about their day and share how you spent yours. Accept your mistakes in front of them, it will not make you lose anything.
Keep Their Secrets
Now that your child has taken a step forward and started trusting you, embrace that and try to maintain your behaviour as before. They will surely start sharing some secrets with you and sometimes they will also ask not to share the same with the other parent. Respect it and keep the talk private. Even if you have noticed some awkward behaviour of your child, reveal the same in a polite manner.
Encourage Them To Do Things
No teenager likes a boring parent. They will definitely open themselves more to you if you will start taking interest in their likings. Even though you might find it unexciting, join them in their favourite tasks. Move a step forward and challenge them to do things. Encourage them to do the stuff they are afraid of like cooking, driving, trying a new outfit or any sport.
Give Them Space
Respect their privacy. It is ok if their friends come for a sleepover or they go for the same. Just keep a check and complete information of the whereabouts. Talk to the parents of the kids where the night stay is arranged. Call your kids once or twice to make sure they are safe and don’t forget to ask the next morning what they would prefer for breakfast. Set a rule for them for sure to come back on the promised time, never keep ringing them while they are out.
Listen To Them
Both sides COMMUNICATION are very necessary. Don’t pile up your feelings on them. Don’t lecture always and allow them sometimes to suggest your scope of betterment. Include them in the home decisions. Make them feel important. Keep asking for their ideas or advice for your life too. Try to dress according to their choice once a while. Apologise if you miffed and admit if the mistake was yours. Advice them right and encourage them to make the final decisions. If they go wrong, be sure they will not repeat.
KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN
Now you are on a road to make a new equation with your teenager but always remember you are a parent. Encourage them to explore the world but never cross the boundary. Give them freedom but keep a check on their activities too. By the end of the day, you are a parent and you know that you will leave no stone unturned to give them the best possible future, but do remember to watch your actions too. Don’t go too easy to be taken for granted.